POLITICALLEGALMILITARISHRELIGIOUSOPNOIDEAcartoonsmemesfreak categories

Keystones and Drones

Keystone pipeline

The Helpless Canadian: "What is all of this chatter about the Keystone pipeline?"

The Helpless Canadian reads about the project and finds a great deal of support arguing on the side of economics and job creation.

The Helpless Canadian: "I think this pipeline could be a good thing for American-Canadian relations and will help improve the unemployment rate in both countries."

The Helpless Canadian looks into the other side of the argument to ensure that he has all of his facts straight. He finds an abundance of information suggesting that the pipeline will do a lot of environmental damage and the undeniable fact that oil is a dying source of fuel.

The Helpless Canadian: "What is this green technology? Apparently we have the means to generate enough energy to fuel the world through solar, hydro, wind and other alternatives. Since oil is not a sustainable source of fuel, why the hell would we build a pipeline underground, thousands of miles down the line?"

Further investigation points to profit as the main reason for building the pipeline.
The Helpless Canadian decides to take action and protest against the pipeline. While at gathering in his hometown, The Helpless Canadian meets with his local politician who agrees with his stance on the pipeline.

Local Politician: "You, sir, have your facts straight and you're clearly passionate about this project. Will you go to Washington with me and take this message to the House of Congress?"

The Helpless Canadian: "If it will help promote the switch to green technology and take the focus off of profit, I'll do it."

Local Politician: "Excellent! If it is alright with you, I'd like to do an interview with a reporter to generate some public interest in our endeavor."

The Helpless Canadian: "Yeah sure, I don't see any reason not to!"

After the interview, The Helpless Canadian packs his bags and heads toward the border. He heard this story of a Canadian heading over without a whole lot of money and ended up in jail for asking questions. He decides to lie and say he's only vacationing for a few days. Wouldn't want to be honest and suffer injustices...

Unfortunately, the interview The Helpless Canadian did with the politician caught national airwaves and drew American interest.

Border Guard: "What is your business in the United States?"

The Helpless Canadian: "I plan on vacationing in Pittsburgh for a couple days."

Border Guard: "That's funny, we have a news report here that says you are going to Washington to protest the Keystone pipeline."

The Helpless Canadian: "Uh, ummm, well I was going to the protest after Pittsburgh."

Border Guard: "You are going to have to go in for full inspection."

After several hours of intense interrogation, The Helpless Canadian thinks that he has no chance of entering the States. A border guard calls him back up to the counter and tells The Helpless Canadian to be on his way.

The Helpless Canadian: "Those border guards aren't all that bad after all, I guess. Now it's off to Washington!"

Upon arriving in Washington, The Helpless Canadian is approached by the local politician.

Local Politician: "Our news story has gotten a lot of good publicity. Will you speak today at a protest outside of the White House?"

The Helpless Canadian: "Really? Me? I suppose I could. If it helps people understand how this pipeline will impact future generations, I've gotta do it!"

As the protest rolls on, The Helpless Canadian is called up to the podium. He nails the speech and leaves people with a solid message and viable solutions. He's approached by a man in a suit who says he represents an environmental organization and asks The Helpless Canadian to come to a gathering at their headquarters. Filled with excitement and hope, The Helpless Canadian emphatically agrees!

While travelling to the headquarters, The Helpless Canadian realizes the directions he was given takes him along a stretch of road in the middle of nowhere.

The Helpless Canadian: "Wait a minute, the Bush Environmental Organization doesn't sound all that legitimate."

Seconds later The Helpless Canadian is struck by a drone. The Helpless Canadian did not die in vain as the explosion revealed a greater source of oil than the Alberta oil field thus nullifying the need for the Keystone pipeline!


have your say

Copyright © Superbious.com and The Helpless Canadian 2012-2015 All Rights Reserved.
latest in Political
How the Election Was Won: A Four-Minute Review
How the Election Was Won: A Four-Minute Review
The 2015 General Election might be over, but the post-voting analysis is still taking place between politicians and members of the media. Before the b...
What UK Leaders Coalition children would look like!
What UK Leaders Coalition children would look like!
In the run up to the UK General Election an online voucher code website has imagined what the party leaders coalition children would look like. The po...
ICC
The self-proclaimed guardian of the world should lead by example
The International Criminal Court, or in short, ICC, is an international tribunal based in The Hague is the Netherlands. It's job, responsibility, is t...
latest in Legal
marijuana
An End to the Marijuana Prohibition?
With weed being legalized recreationally in two states (though one with many restrictions), will weed someday be federally legal?
pot
The Sick Truth Behind Washingtons Attempt to Legalize Pot
Initiative 502 will actually make Cannabis more illegal by legalizing it. The driving policies especially could end up sending innocent people to jail...
Ohio
The case of Mapp v. Ohio
In this outstanding case, the parties were the following: first as plaintiff, then as respondent was Ohio State, and on the other side first as defen...
latest in Militarish
MH17
Flight MH17: Searching for the truth
Its one of the greatest war crimes of modern times and the truth still hasnt been told. On July 17th 2014 at about 16:20 local time, Malaysia Airl...
latest in Religious
Why we don\
Why we don't need religion
For many years religion has been seen as a bastion of hope for many people of faith. My experience is quite the opposite. Growing up I never really be...
Christian
I don't want to be a Christian
I have been a believer in God and the Bible for a relatively short time, even though I grew up in the church. I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior m...
religious freedom
Do We Know What Religious Freedom Means?
There are two principles that the US was built on that seem to have lost their meaning: religious freedom and freedom of speech. Masses claim that the...
latest in OP
lesbian
I don't want your dick and I never will
No I'm not confused. No you can't watch. And no, your massive shaft won't make me straight.
Just Another Normal Week In Texas
Just Another Normal Week In Texas
Last week two Muslim Gunmen opened fire on a cartoon contest whose sole goal was to piss off the Islamic community by drawing the Prophet Mohammed. Fo...
The Truth About Standardized Tests
The Truth About Standardized Tests
As a current high school student in Oklahoma, I have to say that standardized tests are very important to me. I will be voting in our next presidenti...
latest in Noidea
Las Vegas Science and Technology Festival
Las Vegas Science and Technology Festival
From the 24th of April to the 2nd of May, you can experience 9 days where science and technology will come to life in Las Vegas. You can join this fan...
Top Gear fans are idiots
Top Gear fans are idiots
Yes, you, and you, and you there sending death threats to the producer, Oisin Tymon, as well as the BBC director general Tony Hall and his wife. How e...

Read only articles by writers that match your criteria.

Enter your email address for Daily Superbious Digest

Delivered by FeedBurner

SUPERBIOUS.COM

SUPERBIOUS is an e-zine, online creature or politically incorrect blog, created to make Us happy. We have lots to say and we simply needed someone to say it to. Hopefully you'll find it more than readable. Or not.

So you want to write?

Have something politically incorrect to say, yet something that has a point in it? Well, maybe, just maybe we could hear from you.

write for us
Our friends

...yeeeeees, we love Fox News. But we love Jon Stewart and Bill Maher a lot better. Fox News we love because of the quality, amusing, factual information they provide. Bill and Jon we love because they help us see it.

Politics Blogs

My Zimbio
get in touch

You can contact us via , Superbious Facebook or Superbious Twitter account.

If you want to syndicate our content, see this page.