POLITICALLEGALRELIGIOUSOPNOIDEAcartoonsmemesfreak categories

Keystones and Drones

Keystone pipeline

The Helpless Canadian: "What is all of this chatter about the Keystone pipeline?"

The Helpless Canadian reads about the project and finds a great deal of support arguing on the side of economics and job creation.

The Helpless Canadian: "I think this pipeline could be a good thing for American-Canadian relations and will help improve the unemployment rate in both countries."

The Helpless Canadian looks into the other side of the argument to ensure that he has all of his facts straight. He finds an abundance of information suggesting that the pipeline will do a lot of environmental damage and the undeniable fact that oil is a dying source of fuel.

The Helpless Canadian: "What is this green technology? Apparently we have the means to generate enough energy to fuel the world through solar, hydro, wind and other alternatives. Since oil is not a sustainable source of fuel, why the hell would we build a pipeline underground, thousands of miles down the line?"

Further investigation points to profit as the main reason for building the pipeline.
The Helpless Canadian decides to take action and protest against the pipeline. While at gathering in his hometown, The Helpless Canadian meets with his local politician who agrees with his stance on the pipeline.

Local Politician: "You, sir, have your facts straight and you're clearly passionate about this project. Will you go to Washington with me and take this message to the House of Congress?"

The Helpless Canadian: "If it will help promote the switch to green technology and take the focus off of profit, I'll do it."

Local Politician: "Excellent! If it is alright with you, I'd like to do an interview with a reporter to generate some public interest in our endeavor."

The Helpless Canadian: "Yeah sure, I don't see any reason not to!"

After the interview, The Helpless Canadian packs his bags and heads toward the border. He heard this story of a Canadian heading over without a whole lot of money and ended up in jail for asking questions. He decides to lie and say he's only vacationing for a few days. Wouldn't want to be honest and suffer injustices...

Unfortunately, the interview The Helpless Canadian did with the politician caught national airwaves and drew American interest.

Border Guard: "What is your business in the United States?"

The Helpless Canadian: "I plan on vacationing in Pittsburgh for a couple days."

Border Guard: "That's funny, we have a news report here that says you are going to Washington to protest the Keystone pipeline."

The Helpless Canadian: "Uh, ummm, well I was going to the protest after Pittsburgh."

Border Guard: "You are going to have to go in for full inspection."

After several hours of intense interrogation, The Helpless Canadian thinks that he has no chance of entering the States. A border guard calls him back up to the counter and tells The Helpless Canadian to be on his way.

The Helpless Canadian: "Those border guards aren't all that bad after all, I guess. Now it's off to Washington!"

Upon arriving in Washington, The Helpless Canadian is approached by the local politician.

Local Politician: "Our news story has gotten a lot of good publicity. Will you speak today at a protest outside of the White House?"

The Helpless Canadian: "Really? Me? I suppose I could. If it helps people understand how this pipeline will impact future generations, I've gotta do it!"

As the protest rolls on, The Helpless Canadian is called up to the podium. He nails the speech and leaves people with a solid message and viable solutions. He's approached by a man in a suit who says he represents an environmental organization and asks The Helpless Canadian to come to a gathering at their headquarters. Filled with excitement and hope, The Helpless Canadian emphatically agrees!

While travelling to the headquarters, The Helpless Canadian realizes the directions he was given takes him along a stretch of road in the middle of nowhere.

The Helpless Canadian: "Wait a minute, the Bush Environmental Organization doesn't sound all that legitimate."

Seconds later The Helpless Canadian is struck by a drone. The Helpless Canadian did not die in vain as the explosion revealed a greater source of oil than the Alberta oil field thus nullifying the need for the Keystone pipeline!


have your say

Copyright © Superbious.com and The Helpless Canadian 2012-2013 All Rights Reserved.
latest in Political

Welcome to Egypt
When you're thinking about Egypt and its current turmoil, consider this - the country is split into 4 somewhat balanced powers, almost equal in their ...

Canadian Gov't Gives Special Treatment to Private Corporation, Canadians Ecstatic!
Not that this hasn't happened before in Canadian economic & political history, but I digress. Verizon, a notably powerful ISP, TV, and Phone provider ...

Who's Rilin' Palin? Who's Even Listenin'?
Unfortunately, back in the circus that was the '08 United States Presidential Election, we, as a collective society, had to bear with more than the de...
latest in Legal

An End to the Marijuana Prohibition?
With weed being legalized recreationally in two states (though one with many restrictions), will weed someday be federally legal?

The Sick Truth Behind Washington’s Attempt to Legalize Pot
Initiative 502 will actually make Cannabis more illegal by legalizing it. The driving policies especially could end up sending innocent people to jail...

The case of Mapp v. Ohio
In this outstanding case, the parties were the following: first as plaintiff, then as respondent was Ohio State, and on the other side first as defen...
latest in Religious

Scientology in the Classroom?
European school systems have a long tradition of mandated religious education, which is becoming more difficult to implement as growing religious dive...

In Gosh We Trust
Holy cow! My word! Jiminy Crickets! When something surprising or unbelievable happens, what's your go-to phrase of exclamation?

Your complaint matters: but it bloody shouldn't
You may be one of 2200 people who had the time to call into a hotline recently and complain about the sketch.
latest in OP

You know the world is fucked up when...
When news about government's wrongdoing fast becomes the news about how the story came out or who leaked the information. When ...

I don't want your dick and I never will
No I'm not confused. No you can't watch. And no, your massive shaft won't make me straight.

Don’t count your gambling chickens before they’re hatched
If the boom in Internet-related stocks around the turn of the year 2000 taught us anything – it’s that overly optimistic revenues from web-related phe...
latest in Noidea

Juvie For A 10-Year-Old
According to FoxNews.com, two males brought weapons onto their school campus with a plot to kill a classmate.

The Helpless Canadian
The Trials and Tribulations of the Helpless Canadian

Former Holmes Fluffer Worried about Health of Jeremy's Penis
She spoke out couple of days ago on her fears that the porn industry's signature phallus might be eroding in stature.

Read only articles by writers that match your criteria.

Enter your email address for Daily Superbious Digest

Delivered by FeedBurner

more popular stories
Has racism evolved?

The Sick Truth Behind Washington’s Attempt to Legalize Pot

Communism in America Part 1: The End of the World as We Know It

How to survive the binge drinking generation

Political Correctness, in Film Reviews!

An End to the Marijuana Prohibition?

Cyprus Needs to Happen, So Stop Crying like a Bitch

Dr. Keith Ablow, Accidental Psychiatrist, Plays Armchair Psychiatrist Instead

Really? James Dobson blames gays, abortion for shootings

An in-depth look at the mental disorder called "Politics"

Working with the Public: A Guide to Losing Faith in Humanity

Dumb Ingredients for a Dumber Consumer

How close is Big Brother?

United State of Whatever

Climate Change, Climate Shmange

What the Hippies Taught America and How Occupy Didn’t Listen

President Obama is a Racist

The Lesser of Two Evils

In Gosh We Trust

Boy Scouts Are Gay

Ohio Middle School Promotes Religions

Buckle Your Bible-Belt

Rape in America

News Corp. Secretly Romances Monopoly

The True Tragedy of Amanda Todd

The Anti-Bullying Movement: Fools and...Bullies?

What is the perfect man?

The Constitution: A Long Overdue Retirement

Religion in Politics

The Second Greatest Story Ever Told

Skewed perceptions of beauty

The "Canada Economic Action Plan" is a Sham

Libertarianism: The Cult

Working with the Public: A Guide to Losing Faith in Humanity

Should the government do more to discourage cigarette smoking?

What We (Should Have) Learned From Sandusky

Canada: For Sale; Dictatorships Save Big!

Tow Our Line or Get The F*ck Out!

Superbious.com cartoon: Rorsarch Test

Keystones and Drones

SUPERBIOUS.COM

SUPERBIOUS is an e-zine, online creature or politically incorrect blog, created to make Us happy. We have lots to say and we simply needed someone to say it to. Hopefully you'll find it more than readable. Or not.

So you want to write?

Have something politically incorrect to say, yet something that has a point in it? Well, maybe, just maybe we could hear from you.

write for us
Our friends

...yeeeeees, we love Fox News. But we love Jon Stewart and Bill Maher a lot better. Fox News we love because of the quality, amusing, factual information they provide. Bill and Jon we love because they help us see it.

Politics Blogs

My Zimbio
get in touch

You can contact us via , Superbious Facebook or Superbious Twitter account.

If you want to syndicate our content, see this page.