What is this country coming too?

States that want to secede

Article by James Allen
Is this going to fizzle out soon, or is this just the tip of the ice burgh? A week or two after the election, and things are getting to be horrible! Should we just chalk it up to a nation-wide case of butt-hurt?

Papa John's, Pizza Hut, Domino's (yeah-where the HELL am I going to get a pizza without killing my conscience now?) Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Applebee's, Mc Donald's, Burger King and Longhorn Steakhouse have all dropped their employee's hours in an effort to make them feel the pain in the same place that they all know they're about to feel it: In their wallets. Other People are "threatening" to emigrate to other countries, and some entire states have threatened to secede!

Of course, there is a call to boycott the aforementioned companies, though I have to wonder how much good it will really do in light of the fact that so many people turned vegan after watching the video PETA released, exposing factory farms, yet they still seem to be turning a profit. As for the "threats" of emigration to other countries, well, I must admit that my wife and I were seriously considering the same option, should Romney be elected into office. We were already considering which would be the better choice between Norway and Denmark. We'd gone as far as to take into account the fact that she is of Danish descent, which may make Denmark the easier and more logical choice. My two-week agenda included looking up the naturalization process for Denmark and the price of transportation!

As the tension has been growing, my wife and I have been discussing the very real possibility of violence! My initial self-congratulatory feelings of winning the election had faded by the end of the third day and I've been ready to move on with the rest of my life since then. I assumed that those who felt the mirror image-the but-hurt would have calmed down and resigned themselves, as well. But it seems this contention is only getting worse! Today I read about a tanning salon owner in Key West has gone as far as to take his own life! Read about it here.

Inasmuch as it brings me great apprehension to say it, I believe that Henry Hamilton's is only the first of the blood that has been spilled in a war that looks as though it may be imminent.

The question, "What is this country coming to?" suddenly has a more ominous feeling to it. Let's take a look at the states which have filed for secession and what we'd lose, should they succeed in their secessions:

  • Arkansas: Scottie Pippen. OK. Also, it would make for awkwardness, should Bill Clinton wish to continue in our politics.
  • South Carolina: Their usefulness seems to have ended in the 1950's, with the end of the cotton regime
  • Georgia: I don't think that I will miss Travis Tritt very much, at all.
  • Missouri: Having a tough time, trying to find anything here...
  • Tennessee: It used to be referred to as "The Hog and Hominy State" I HATE hominy. Oh yeah, they have a lot of coal.
  • Michigan: Detroit's in Michigan. Our auto industry, which President Obama fought so desperately to save is anchored in Detroit. Hundreds of thousands of auto industry workers still have jobs, only because of the president's efforts. And now they hate him so badly that they want to take their toys and leave. Gratitude: You're doing it wrong
  • Colorado: They have some very impressive mountains and Tim Allen came from there. What if we want to do another The Santa Clause movie? And, oh yeah- Assssspen!
  • Oregon: I'm having difficulty with this one, too.
  • New Jersey: Really? After Sandy came in and you folks had to swim to your grocery store, which had no dry food in it, anyway, who had your back? Romney was 600 miles away, holding a campaign rally. He bought $5000.00 worth of "donations" with which to have his picture taken, claiming that the entire event was a "Relief Rally". He didn't even buy the right stuff! The Red Cross told him that they have no use for canned goods or water, yet that's what he brought with him to pose with for the pictures before he sat to have his shoes re-shined and his hair re-combed. Whatever ultimately happened to these "donations", I'll probably never know. Even Chris Christie applauded Obama for his quick action concerning Sandy! He's been paying for it ever since: The Republicans have been blaming him for their loss just because he said "Thank you". And now you're so angry that you want to secede?
  • North Dakota: Oil.
  • Montana: Oil.
  • Indiana: Oil, coal, natural gas.
  • Mississippi: More oil.
  • Kentucky: Coal.
  • North Carolina: I'm going to have to get back to you on this one…
  • Alabama: Coal
  • New York: I admit to being a bit worried about losing New York. Our country's financial centers are based there, along with the home offices of several corporations. Those which want to remain part of America would need to move, and I'm certain that it wouldn't mean the end of us for them to do that. But having New York as part of a different country would really confuse the issue where 9/11 and the war on terror is concerned…
  • Texas: This is the state for which secession is the most feasible. Firstly, the state is huge. "Everything's bigger in Texas", and Texans are VERY proud of that. It's almost as though the state is whole other country, if not an entire other planet already. In three years of doing nationwide customer service for a large company, I've never spoken to the residents of any other state which were so proud of being so dumb. The real benefit to our country of loosing Texas would be that the Bushes would no-longer be citizens and therefore none of them could possibly be in our future elections. Rumor has it that Jeb Bush has his eyes on 2016. I would, in no way be remiss to never see that happen. Texas, as a state can go on its' way, as far as I'm concerned. Texas' contributions to our society are debatable. True, NASA has an installation in Houston, but other than that, what have they given the rest of this country? A football team and a horrendous drama series that aired in the 80's?

Along with several other states, we all receive oil from Texas. Our country is already dependent on foreign oil and we're struggling to change that fact, as it is. Advances in technologies like wind and solar power would only be easier for the rest of us without the Oil tycoons gumming up the works.

There are some states on this list which I, personally would not miss. They are known to be inhabited by bigoted right-wing Christian evangelical fundamentalists and I seriously wouldn't accept the deed to a house built in any one of them, even it were free, huge and hat a bat-cave with a fully functioning Iron Man suit next to the batmobile. But let's take a look at the real implications here: What do most of these states contribute? The answer to this question is absolutely coal and oil. As I write this, it's amazing to me to see just how obvious the agenda is. The Koch Brothers, along with other big oil tycoons, have pumped billions of dollars into indoctrinating the citizens of states which contribute large amounts of coal and oil. They've promised to give them all jobs, and I believe that they intend to do so, but what types of jobs? What would be the price that they ultimately pay? Working in a mine is in no way glamorous, nor is it safe. If one is lucky enough to escape being killed in a mine collapse, he will die more slowly and more painfully from the destruction to his lungs caused by what he will be breathing while he's earning that "stable paycheck" Romney's been promising him.

In conclusion, I am of the opinion that if these states wish to secede, let them. Let them elect Romney as their leader (President? Prime Minister? King?) and they can work for Romney and the Koch brothers while they kill each other off with their bigotry and hatred. In a hundred years or so, when those areas of the continent are devoid of human life, we can send an exploration team in there to discover whether or not the land is still habitable and perhaps re-populate them. The problem with this thinking is that while the mines and fracking sites may only make their immediate areas dangerous or inhospitable, the power plants will continue to pump tons of arsenic and lead into the atmosphere every single day. Whether or not they are in the United States, global warming doesn't have any boundaries. Hence the name.

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