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AMURICA the BYUTIFEL

spell inauguration

Article by Olivia Lox
democrat
Inauguration. See, that wasn't so hard, but that word has been the kryptonite of facebookers, tweeters, insta-grammers, bloggers, and even--gasp, the news media *cough* FOX news *cough* on this, the day of Barack Obama's inauguration to his second term (which I claim as a victory for the U.S.A.). It seems as though a world that has come so far as to have a black president would have mastered the art of literacy and proper spelling. Alas, this is not the case.

Lets bring forth some truth. For starters, America isn't "going to shit," but it has always had a shit-like appeal to it. The first Americans were a righteous group of people. They took what they needed and took care of each other, as well as kept a strong love for alcohol and an immense hatred for white folk - insert improperly timed holocaust joke here. Yes, the good ol' Native Americans were cool people until they were run down by the disease and guns of the Brits. Then came the era of the "Real Americans." The family led by a polygamist father and his twelve sons and eight daughters, who lived a comfortable life while presiding over a shitload of beings they called slaves who were presumed to be lesser beings than them and preached the Holy Bible. Now here is where the comedy comes into view. The whites stayed in all day 'learnin an' what not,' while the slaves created an elaborate system of safe houses to escape the land of the redneck. The biggest advantage the whites claimed over the then dubbed negroes, was their "edge-macation," or what you and I would call education.

FLASHFORWARD
Then why the $%& can't anybody spell inauguration correctly besides me, an 18 year old college student? Maybe because I'm half black and half white. Nevertheless, a prayer must be said for this nation, unless you're at a public school, because that would be illegal.


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