Angry Burqas or (How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Drone Strikes)

Angry Burqas

I was thumbing through the app store on my phone the other day and found an interesting new game called Angry Burqas. Being a fan of the juvenile yet addictive Angry Birds, I figured that this game could be just as fun to play while taking marathon shits at work. On a whim, I downloaded it.

Rather than being a slingshot puzzle game, it was more of a first-person shooter. The player is actually in control of a Predator drone. The object of the game is to lay waste to as many innocent Afghani civilians as possible. Instead of green piggies, there are "brown trildies," which is short for "tribal elders." The different levels are grouped into provinces in Afghanistan. After getting over the initial shock, I continued to play it out of sheer curiosity and deep need to be entertained whilst emptying the contents of my colon at my place of employment.

I must admit, I was against the use of drones in Afghanistan before playing this game. The first ten minutes of Terminator scared the shit out of me as a kid. So, the first reports of drones being used gave me flashbacks of the Skynet reckoning. It was a good thing that my mom saved those rubber sheets.

But now, I am totally for unmanned drone strikes. Who the hell isn't these days? I seriously gave joining the Air Force a second thought.
Killing is fun, non-traumatic, routine, clinical.
I could play Angry Burqas all fucking day. I could play it in a house. I could play it with a mouse. I could play it in a car. I could play it in a bar. I could play it on the can. I could play it with a man (multiplayer!). Sign me up Sergeant Samiam, let me turn brown trildies into ham!

Even if I do not join the Air Force (still on the fence), the Predator drones are fucking awesome. Seriously. We no longer have to worry about moral quandaries like putting troops into harm's way. Who cares? Now we just send a remote-controlled airplanes with missiles to rain hellfire on anyone that doesn't have an erection for America's direction. We don't have to worry about the toll it takes on our troops. Killing is fun, non-traumatic, routine, clinical. No shell shock. No costly healthcare to pay for long term. No entitlements incurred. No American casualties. Entirely guilt-free sport killing.
The electorate do not have to be worried about the comings and goings of killing large amounts of people.

It's certainly a brave new world that we live in. Without the pestering moral quandaries that usually temper the grave decisions on the battlefield, now our Armed Forces can be freed to take more action. Without any consequences of injury for those on our side, we can simply engage in more targets. Furthermore, without losses of life on our end, the electorate do not have to be worried about the comings and goings of killing large amounts of people. That's exhausting, who needs that? No, we can go back to our smart phones and listen to music or play our little games. I often wonder as I play Angry Burqas: if a hellfire missiles hits a mosque in the Middle East, does anyone with an iPhone hear it?

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