POLITICALLEGALRELIGIOUSOPNOIDEAcartoonsmemesfreak categories

So, you want to date an Atheist?

Atheist dating

Atheist dating tips.

Like a child learning to let go of the side of the swimming pool and swim, maybe you’re a Christian who is letting go of your religion and have decided to go on your first date with (gasp!) an Atheist. Or, perhaps you’re already an Atheist and you’ve just met another like-minded person and are getting ready to meet him or her for the first time. Either way, you’re already fully aware that Atheists are godless monsters who eat kittens for breakfast and the little voice of fear inside your head is shouting to be heard over your excitement and you’re wondering what to do. Sarcasm aside, the voice of reason you’re hearing should absolutely be heeded. Whenever you meet anyone for the first time, your first concern should always be safety, no matter how long it may have been since you’ve gotten laid.

Here are some tips which should help you to avoid winding up in a freezer in someone’s basement, or worse, as an embarrassing memory in the basement of the other person’s mind:

  1. Meet in a public place. I know; besides just being common sense, you’ve probably heard it fifteen times already, this week, but it bears repeating. It obviously bears repeating because we’re still hearing of people who have disappeared while meeting someone for the first time in an abandoned warehouse or empty Laundromat at 2:00 am. Those of us who are lucky enough to live in a place like Las Vegas always have lots of options, day or night. But what’s one to do when living in Coso Junction, CA? (The last time I went through Coso Junction, there was a sign at the edge of the community that listed the population at 9 and it looked like the kind of place where everything was closed by 9, too). There are always the old stand-bys: bars, coffee shops and restaurants/diners. Personally, I recommend staying away from these high-pressure situations. Dinner as a first date always feels like a prolonged job interview, plus food. If you want a unique experience, one that will stand apart from your potentially-active date’s other experiences, try something with external focus. Find some place that has to do with a common interest you may have. For intellectuals, the local museum is the obvious choice. Do you share a great sense of humor? Try meeting at a local stand-up comedy open-mike night. Maybe you both love music, but there isn’t another Justin Bieber concert coming your way for a few months, yet. You two will very likely enjoy a nice evening at your local karaoke bar far more, anyway, regardless of the sad old lady’s rendition of “Only You”.

  2. This brings us to number 2. Drink. In. Moderation. I can not emphasize this enough. Not only is it a safety strategy to maintain at least a semi-clear head throughout your first evening with someone about whom you know almost nothing, it’s common sense. Maybe you’re going with the agenda of “gettin’ some” and really don’t care whether getting drunk will lead to a regrettable morning-after syndrome. Fine. You’re a slut. I get it. And more power to you. But consider this: The chances of being called back for a second round go up tremendously if you haven’t spent the evening making a fool of yourself. “I can handle my liquor,” are famous last words. Let me assure you that every drunk moron you’ve ever run into, every urine-drenched chowderhead that has thrown up five cups of Jagermeister all over you or into their car, every otherwise respectable person who has woken up next to someone with whom they had no intention of sleeping has shared that mantra with you. Limit your alcohol intake and drink slowly and be sure to drink some water as well. Besides, shouldn’t you be paying attention to your date? You’ve gone to lengths, trying to meet this person and now you’re trying to see whether the two of you are compatible in person. That’s a little difficult to do when you’re staring at the toilet bowl.

  3. Go ahead and flirt a little! It’s a date. When you do approach each other for the first time, try kissing the other person on the cheek. This sets the tone of the date and lets the other person know that you’re confident-both in yourself and in your decision to meet them. Once you’ve gotten this first step out of the way, finding something to talk about will come a lot more easily.

  4. Cross that bridge when you get to it. It really, really is OK-even preferable to have some limits-whether you prefer to think that your limits are a result of rational thinking or your moral compass, there really is nothing wrong with saying “No” on the first date. Most guys really will respect that, and the rest of them aren’t worth your time, anyway. But coming out and laying the “ground rules” or giving a “heads-up” about how there shall be no sex before you are good and ready is bound to find you never getting to that point. By letting your amorous friend know, up front, that there is no pot of gold at the end of tonight’s rainbow, not only do you potentially take the wind out of his/her sails, but it also shows a certain degree of presumptuousness. Not only are you presuming that the decision will be up to you because your date is already struggling to contain their desire, but you’re presuming that your date is the kind of person who hasn’t already taken manners and etiquette into consideration. What kind of jerk do you think he (or she) is, anyway?

  5. Be yourself. It’s been said that when two people meet, they aren’t, in fact meeting each other, but the representatives that those people have designated to negotiate the task. I am in no way suggesting that you don’t wear make-up-regardless of whether you’re a woman or a man, if that’s your thing. Of course you should look your best. On the other hand, don’t say I didn’t warn you if you date Romney-style. By that, I mean that you pander to your date’s points of view or mood and change your own points of view to coincide with that of your date’s. For example, If you hate Green Day and your date arrives, wearing a Green Day T-shirt, I recommend:

    A) Avoiding talking about Green Day (at least for now) or
    B) Voicing your true opinion.

Remember kids, Integrity counts. If the two of you hit it off and they find out later down the line that you would rather dig your brain out of your head through your nose than listen to “Time of Your Life” one more time, and they remember what your wore on your first date (my wife does) that’s going to automatically raise questions about whether you can be trusted when you call to cancel or postpone a date because you need to take your pet lizard to the vet. At the very least, don’t disrespect their intelligence. If you use the old “lizard-has-to-go-to-the-vet rouse, at least buy a lizard first.

Be sure to keep your eyes peeled for our next installment. We’ll cover five more tips for your first date. Be sure and contact either Alisha or me with any questions or comments, or feel free to leave them here! We’re almost always around and are always happy to speak directly with you. Cheers!


have your say

Copyright © Superbious.com and Allens 2012-2013 All Rights Reserved.
latest in Political

Welcome to Egypt
When you're thinking about Egypt and its current turmoil, consider this - the country is split into 4 somewhat balanced powers, almost equal in their ...

Canadian Gov't Gives Special Treatment to Private Corporation, Canadians Ecstatic!
Not that this hasn't happened before in Canadian economic & political history, but I digress. Verizon, a notably powerful ISP, TV, and Phone provider ...

Who's Rilin' Palin? Who's Even Listenin'?
Unfortunately, back in the circus that was the '08 United States Presidential Election, we, as a collective society, had to bear with more than the de...
latest in Legal

An End to the Marijuana Prohibition?
With weed being legalized recreationally in two states (though one with many restrictions), will weed someday be federally legal?

The Sick Truth Behind Washington’s Attempt to Legalize Pot
Initiative 502 will actually make Cannabis more illegal by legalizing it. The driving policies especially could end up sending innocent people to jail...

The case of Mapp v. Ohio
In this outstanding case, the parties were the following: first as plaintiff, then as respondent was Ohio State, and on the other side first as defen...
latest in Religious

Scientology in the Classroom?
European school systems have a long tradition of mandated religious education, which is becoming more difficult to implement as growing religious dive...

In Gosh We Trust
Holy cow! My word! Jiminy Crickets! When something surprising or unbelievable happens, what's your go-to phrase of exclamation?

Your complaint matters: but it bloody shouldn't
You may be one of 2200 people who had the time to call into a hotline recently and complain about the sketch.
latest in OP

You know the world is fucked up when...
When news about government's wrongdoing fast becomes the news about how the story came out or who leaked the information. When ...

I don't want your dick and I never will
No I'm not confused. No you can't watch. And no, your massive shaft won't make me straight.

Don’t count your gambling chickens before they’re hatched
If the boom in Internet-related stocks around the turn of the year 2000 taught us anything – it’s that overly optimistic revenues from web-related phe...
latest in Noidea

Juvie For A 10-Year-Old
According to FoxNews.com, two males brought weapons onto their school campus with a plot to kill a classmate.

The Helpless Canadian
The Trials and Tribulations of the Helpless Canadian

Former Holmes Fluffer Worried about Health of Jeremy's Penis
She spoke out couple of days ago on her fears that the porn industry's signature phallus might be eroding in stature.

Read only articles by writers that match your criteria.

Enter your email address for Daily Superbious Digest

Delivered by FeedBurner

more popular stories
Has racism evolved?

The Sick Truth Behind Washington’s Attempt to Legalize Pot

Communism in America Part 1: The End of the World as We Know It

How to survive the binge drinking generation

Political Correctness, in Film Reviews!

An End to the Marijuana Prohibition?

Cyprus Needs to Happen, So Stop Crying like a Bitch

Dr. Keith Ablow, Accidental Psychiatrist, Plays Armchair Psychiatrist Instead

Really? James Dobson blames gays, abortion for shootings

An in-depth look at the mental disorder called "Politics"

Working with the Public: A Guide to Losing Faith in Humanity

Dumb Ingredients for a Dumber Consumer

How close is Big Brother?

United State of Whatever

Climate Change, Climate Shmange

What the Hippies Taught America and How Occupy Didn’t Listen

President Obama is a Racist

The Lesser of Two Evils

In Gosh We Trust

Boy Scouts Are Gay

Ohio Middle School Promotes Religions

Buckle Your Bible-Belt

Rape in America

News Corp. Secretly Romances Monopoly

The True Tragedy of Amanda Todd

The Anti-Bullying Movement: Fools and...Bullies?

What is the perfect man?

The Constitution: A Long Overdue Retirement

Religion in Politics

The Second Greatest Story Ever Told

Skewed perceptions of beauty

The "Canada Economic Action Plan" is a Sham

Libertarianism: The Cult

Working with the Public: A Guide to Losing Faith in Humanity

Should the government do more to discourage cigarette smoking?

What We (Should Have) Learned From Sandusky

Canada: For Sale; Dictatorships Save Big!

Tow Our Line or Get The F*ck Out!

Superbious.com cartoon: Rorsarch Test

Keystones and Drones

SUPERBIOUS.COM

SUPERBIOUS is an e-zine, online creature or politically incorrect blog, created to make Us happy. We have lots to say and we simply needed someone to say it to. Hopefully you'll find it more than readable. Or not.

So you want to write?

Have something politically incorrect to say, yet something that has a point in it? Well, maybe, just maybe we could hear from you.

write for us
Our friends

...yeeeeees, we love Fox News. But we love Jon Stewart and Bill Maher a lot better. Fox News we love because of the quality, amusing, factual information they provide. Bill and Jon we love because they help us see it.

Politics Blogs

My Zimbio
get in touch

You can contact us via , Superbious Facebook or Superbious Twitter account.

If you want to syndicate our content, see this page.