10 Reasons to TRUMP Trump!
On Sept.6, 2015, drawing a unique, historic line in the local sand, The Los Angeles Times News Group’s editorial board proclaimed loudly, and in print, Donald Trump will not get their endorsement in his “winner take all” pogrom to be USA’s president. Good for the L.A. Times! Our media should be clamoring for some “Gravitas” requirement. I was always embarrassed when Junior George Bush was our leader. What a hayseed. I just don’t want to go through that kind of thing again.
When I get frustrated, I look to history for answers in similar situations. Turns out, mankind has been in this fix before. I’ve recently discovered that the French philosopher, Albert Camus, once said: “Ridicule is the only effective weapon against a tyrant!” Well hang on, Massa Trump, you’re about to get Cam-mooed!
|1) His last report card reads: “Donny insists on being the center of attention. (Look at me!! Look at me!!) And if that doesn’t work out, he does not play well with the other children. We all do realize by now, even though he can’t spell it, that Trump is a narcissist. (And haven’t we already been through that with Nixon and Reagan and Newt?) |
2) Remember: Friends don’t let friends elect idiots! Not even rich ones. Just say no. It’s like with Ralph Nader. You know you’re gonna regret this vote. He said he was a Democrat. Now, he claims to be a Republican. The GOP welcomed him. Trump is the Republican Frankenstein! He would switch and run as head of the communist party if their bosses would promise to print and post enough pictures of him in Iowa.
3) If voters were investors, I predict that Donald Trump will be the Republican Bernie Madoff. Do you really want to bet your hard-won retirement on either one of these two megalomaniacs, who look alike, and sound alike, and smell like they are totally and ethically bankrupt? I don’t think so.
4) Pay attention here! I guess Trump is OK, but I wouldn’t want him watching my kids, or your kids, or anybody’s kids. I wouldn’t want him to date Carly Fiorina. Donald might be OK, but I wouldn’t want him to even be in the same room as the atomic bomb launch button……I wouldn’t want him to choose my cable TV package… … I wouldn’t want him to meet my 17 yr. old female cousin…I wouldn’t want him to even speak to any leader in the Mid-East! …etc. (i.e. I just don’t trust this two-bit braggart!)
5) I’m still amazed that America’s liberal hair stylists haven’t conspired and tried to blow-dry him to death. Donald Trump is personally responsible for the single worst event in coiffure history! Do any of you really want that to happen to our America?
6) The only wall he should build is around him. Every time I hear the phrase: “Trump for President!” I’m always reminded of that TV commercial for salsa from Texas: “You know where that dude’s from? He’s from New York City!” “New York City??”
7) I forgive the over-priced hotels. I forgive his snobby, self righteous kids. I forgive his fear of Rosie O’Donnell. I even forgive what he did to Dennis Rodman. But, it was Donald Trump that set Omerosa loose on all of us! I’ll never forgive him for that.
8) Did you ever notice that when a clown car pulls up, they all pile out with bad hair, and look just like Trump? The Donald thinks he’s a modern day P.T Barnum of circus fame. “Never give a sucker …never give a poor man…never give a voter an even break!” Hey Mr. Trump, the egress is over there!
9) The Donald just thinks he’s real tough. Face it, if Trump (and the bridge was open) got to the mean streets of New Jersey, and talked face to face with Gov. Chris Christie, (who’s really tough) Chris Christie would eat Donald’s lunch. Then Gov. Christie would eat your lunch. Then he’d eat my lunch. Then he’d eat someone else’s lunch!
10) Race, creed, color, beauty, and ambulatory patterns should not be discriminated against. Not even by citizens, or fat would-be politicians. Donald Trump and Sarah Palin and the Ku Klux Klan…they all deserve each other.
In order to appeal to the grass roots voters, I realize that populous candidates pray every day so they can pretend they are a political lightning rod that matters. Well, for once in his rich and privileged life, Trump should follow Benjamin Franklin’s example: “Hey Donny…GO FLY A KITE!” I don’t mind that you think you should be leader of the free world. But, I’m insulted that you think Americans would think you should be. Americans are smarter than you give them credit for being. America and the world need an actual leader, not a misogynist, or a racist leader. At long last, have you no shame? Have you no decency? Please leave the real job of governing real Americans to those Americans who have the wisdom, experience, and resume that fits the job opening! By any reasonable standards, you’re just not qualified. You’re a freak! You’re an ugly Kardassian! Go back to Reality TV, Cuz that’s where you belong. You’re fired!
If Donald Trump ends up next year as the leading conservative in the polls and primaries, then the whole Republican Party will remain to a big joke. And real Americans aren’t laughing. This circus has become a matter of respectability, and having it. Did Republicans tell those Tea Party idiots that the brand and the boat that Tea Party-ers are hitching a ride on, is leaking? Somebody better start bailing, quick! Are there any reasonable alternatives? Maybe the Republican big-wig brain trust could group-think and jump on that Neurosurgeon Ben Carson’s band wagon. Hey, maybe they can still get a black man elected president next year. After all, it has happened before.